So I've heard this song a million times before. It played a lot during my teenage years. I was listening to Love Songs on Pandora today because I'm a sap and that's what I enjoy listening to in my free time. Anyway I heard this song and suddenly it had a whole new level of meaning to it.

On the back of the loss of my father-in-law I've been thinking a lot about what my mother-in-law must be going through. This song was heart wrenching for me when I thought about what one more day with my father-in-law would be like for her.

I didn't know them for a very long time just a few years but their epic love touched me and it certainly formed my husband into the loving man he is today. Married for 41 years, almost 42. Their love and marriage has always been something I've wanted to emulate with their son. But this song... just wow.. What I would do to give my mother-in-law just one more day with her beloved husband. Or my husband another day with his father.

Sometimes the most familiar things provoke the most unexpected responses. This was one such case for me.

Thoughts...my thoughts...on some stuff

So as the title suggests this post doesn't really have a theme its more like a diary/journal entry detailing my thoughts over the past couple days.

On Friday after a week or so of discussion on the idea my husband and I decided that I would create a "gofundme.com" page to perhaps raise some funds for us to go on a honeymoon trip since we weren't able to afford one when we got married in the summer 2011. I've since been sharing it on Facebook quite a lot, I even pinned it on pinterest and shared on Google+ even though I have no idea how google+ works. I shared it to various groups I am/was apart of on Facebook thinking it was a great way to drum up support.

I am well aware now that the people of the town I call my home are not nearly as generous and giving as I would have thought they were. Many rude and impolite comments were made about how we should "just (expletive deleted) save, like everyone else for (expletive deleted)'s sake" , how I was a bum for sharing such a page, "why don't you move to Greece if you want to share a page like this," and other comments along those lines. All of these from the group for the city I live in. This was quite surprising to me and hurtful and since I guessed/assumed there would only be more of the same and I am not as thick skinned as I try to make people believe I am, I took the post down.

The post is gone, the comments deleted, the rudeness however is not forgotten. I find myself thinking over and over again, why do people feel the need to share their rude thoughts, nothing forced them to donate or even to read the posting on Facebook and yet every comment was so rude, no positive comments were left at all, no likes on the post nothing to indicate that anyone other than a bunch of very rude people live in my town.

This leads me to think, well maybe it is not so surprising that I do not have friends in this town. At least not any that were not already my husband's friends before I was married. After all the negativity on a harmless post that people could have just ignored if the idea of donating to a honeymoon trip was so terrible in their opinion, I've come to the conclusion that maybe I really don't want to make friends in this town. Maybe I'm happier just being a hermit and having a social life on the web.

So you may be wondering, why are we asking people to donate to our honeymoon trip. The fact remains that after sending out job applications to all open positions that I'm even remotely qualified for and multiple open applications to be considered for any open position a company might have or that might become available in the six months the app stays in the company records etc. After all of this only and only one interview that required me to drive to a different city to attend, no job offers have come. Nothing, not even the hint of a possibility of being interviewed again by any other company and most haven't even responded to the effect that they would consider my application. I also keep an updated CV and cover letter document on the unemployment offices job listing page where employers can search for unemployed people who might fit their vacancies without making an official posting about such a vacant position. Anyway after all this applying and waiting I still haven't found a job in my new home. This is probably perfectly reasonable considering the unemployment rate and that I'm not Finnish and there are many Finnish people who are unemployed.

The moral of all that is that in order for us to have a honeymoon trip at any point in the foreseeable future we're going to need some help funding it. Gifts from friends and family and maybe even some generous strangers to make the dream come true. This means we're also saving our money if we can afford to do so and putting in in a fund towards the trip as well.

But the extreme lack of empathy and the really rude comments from people in town have just really ruined my day and done some serious damage to the mental image I had of the sort of people who live in my new home town.


Also as an ending note, if you're taking the time to actually read this and you want to make a donation to the honeymoon trip fund discussed within this post here is the link:

http://www.gofundme.com/JaniandMelsholidayfund 

Maybe some of my readers will be more generous of heart and spirit than the residents of my town have been.

Amazed

I was listening to some Christmas music while cleaning up the kitchen today and it hit me how much I've changed in just four short years.

Four years ago: I was in Finland as an exchange student, I was incredibly homesick for familiar things and people from the US. I wanted to go back there like no body's business. Of course Christmas was a bit of a challenge for me emotionally because I was very used to having a huge family gatherings to go to. Here I was able to celebrate with Jani (my now husband) but it was strange to just be two people for Christmas.

That year was the first year I was in charge of making Christmas meal by myself. I made a ham, about 200 meatballs, plenty of mashed potatoes and the traditional "lanttulatikko, and "porkkanalatikko" which translate to rutabaga and carrot casserole respectively.  I learned that rutabaga's are acceptable in this format and this format only. We ate loads and exchanged gifts but I still felt a bit lonely. It was stressful and lots of pressure to be sure, but everything turned out just great.


Today: This will be my fourth Christmas with Jani, we've been married now for three of them. We have our own tree and traditions. I no longer feel the homesickness that I felt during that first Christmas together. I am again preparing to make a ham, meatballs (less than 100), boiled potatoes (which I've since learned are more traditional on a Finnish Christmas table), and again lanttulatikko and porkkanalatikko will grace our table. We're not focused on gifts this year but rather are just going to spend the time enjoying ourselves and the time with each other since we spent so much on gifts last year. This year is about family.

With the sadness that happened in our family recently with the loss of Jani's father I feel the need to make this Christmas a happy time. This goes especially for Jani's mom who has indeed expressed a wish to not celebrate this year because she feels like she'll be too sad without her husband there by her side. After all she had over 40 Christmas's with him. I can't imagine the pain and the sadness she must feel but I feel this overwhelming feeling that this is where I belong and I should do everything in my power to make this Christmas special even though we will be one family member short.

This is even more amazing to me because I have not had any pangs of longing for the large family gatherings happening at this time of year in the US among the various branches of my family there. I find myself more determined than ever to focus on the beautiful, wonderful, loving, amazing, family I've found myself a welcome part of here in Finland.

I feel truly amazed what four years and a lot of love from a new family can do to change a girl. I sure am lucky! =)

Changes

It has been while since I've made a blog post but this morning's happenings have made me get back into it. Last week in my household we decided to start eating only healthy, low fat, low salt, non-processed foods. That means I cook everyday and my steamer has gotten more on time in the past week than it has in probably the entire year previously. The plus side of this is that we're saving money by not eating out and we're still getting to eat really yummy food. 

On a much more important note this new way of eating has had some serious weight loss benefits for my husband and for me! This makes me really happy because this is the first time in what has seemed like years that the number on the scale has finally started moving in a downward direction. 

Also I'm learning to really enjoy my rice crispies (while they last) with fat free milk, and also fat free yogurt has been really yummy too. Who knew? This diet is made even easier because in Finland there's this little red heart symbol on many products which denotes that it follows certain low fat, low salt requirements. Makes shopping similar to a scavenger hunt to try and find the heart symbol on products. 

I'm simply really excited that finally some changes in my diet and life that are actually working for once.

Shocked

Watching the documentary "Farmageddon" on Netflix. I was shocked and appalled by the whole thing. The government in USA never ceases to surprise me. Sure this documentary was made in 2011 so maybe things have changed but I have serious doubts that changes will ever be made.

There were segments about sheep being seized from a farm in Vermont because the USDA thought that the animals were infected with Mad Cow Disease since they had been imported from Europe, after the mad cow disease scare in the UK,  and from New Zealand. However, the flocks they were imported from were disease free. The sheep were quarantined for 2 months in Europe before being imported to this family farm in Vermont and then subsequently quarantined for more time after arrival because the USDA feared contamination. The sheep were eventually seized and put down but each animal was tested for Mad Cow Disease and the results were negative all the animals were healthy. The USDA lied to the media and hid results of these tests for years.


A different farm in New York near Cornell university was doing a community dairy project where they sold raw milk and yoghurt products from their family farm to locals in their community. Raw milk is milk straight from the animal that has not been pasteurized. All of their products were declared unfit for human consumption by state agricultural inspectors. The family was practising safe food practices on their farm and selling their product to like minded people. They lost their court cases and appeal based on the grounds that the New York state agriculture and markets department has "the right to regulate articles of food given to another person."


But the KING of all my beefs with the USDA comes from the next clip. Where they're talking about how there is a federal law from 1930's that prohibits the sale of raw milk across state lines. A group of local growers in Athens, Georgia had purchased some raw milk from a dairy in South Carolina and thus transported that milk across state lines. At a surprise inspection the milk was discovered. The USDA came back the next day and made the people in the locally grown group dump out all of the milk, it looked like over 100 gallons, of raw milk, onto the ground because it was considered a health hazard in the state of Georgia. Keep in mind people had already paid for this milk, the milk was searched for and seized with no warrants and the people were forced to dump it on the ground.

After that clip a man from the Farm-to-consumer Foundation spoke a bit and then this text displayed across the screen. It took 2 screen grabs to get it but I've condensed it down to make it fit better. I have no removed any text just empty black space around the words.

 

I'm shocked speechless at that. I seriously cannot believe that the FOOD AND DRUG ADMINISTRATION!!! The organization that is supposed to regulate to ensure that the food and drugs are safe for human consumption could say things like that in a court case and there is not rioting in the streets?!?!

Food concious friends and readers of this blog, please, please go and watch this documentary and start fighting for your rights to have healthy food instead of food produced by agri-business that is full of things you don't know how to pronounce and don't want in your bodies.

Busy few weeks

So a lot has been happening in my life in the past few weeks. At least it feels like a lot to me and its kept me from getting on here and making a blog update. I hope this covers all that's happened. I'm sure if I forget something then I'll mention it at some later date.


So firstly I went to the nutritionist. I was not pleased with the results. According to her scale I've gained over 7 kg since the last time I was there in early July. This is UNACCEPTABLE in my opinion. So now I've got this assignment to make a food journal for her and take it back at the end of October. I plan to do it this week. It should be interesting to see what she says about everything. I hope she has some answers or sends me back to the doctor for tests like she's promised. I mean over 50 kg in 2 yr 5 months is ridiculous.  Here let me break that down for those of you who don't use metrics. 15.5 lbs gained between July 2nd and September 30th. A grand total of 116.8 or lets say 117 lbs in the time since I moved to Finland.

How about a more visual:

Spring 2011 (Feb/March)

Late April 2011

    

And here is a picture of me in July 2013 I don't have a more recent picture than this but you'll get the idea: 

Mid July 2013

So I hope this visual makes it even more clear how big an issue this weight gain is for me.

I've been eating lots of salad and drinking lots of water. Eating lean protein and snacking way less. Exercising as much as my new larger size allows, which is not really a lot. I get exhausted quite easy and I don't have the same strength that I used to. I remember biking and roller blading and walking to and from class etc and being totally content. I worked really hard at Wal-mart not that I had a difficult job, but it required speed and physical strength. I gained a lot of muscle doing that job and have since lost it all.

Google is probably sick of searching for reasons why a 24 year old could have gained so much weight with no explanation. But I'll keep researching until I find something that makes sense. So far the only thing that seems remotely likely is Hypothyroidism. I know my grandmother has thyroid problems but I'm not sure exactly what her problems are. I guess I should ask. They did a blood panel last year and said my thyroid was working just fine. But I just don't know if I can believe them. I guess I'll have to push for more tests. If I can't get them at the city doctors I'll have to resort to private sector care.

I also had a minor surgery to remove a piece of nail that remained behind after my surgery in January to correct my ingrown toenail. It is taking a long time to heal this time around and today became very infected. I'm back on antibiotics hopefully that will put an end to it. But that's just one more thing on the hypothyroidism check-list, more frequent infections.


Also in other news. I've been tagging along with my husband and his mother while they morn and bury his father. Its been a learning experience. The funeral process in Finland is very different from what I was used to growing up. But at the same time, perhaps I just didn't have this much knowledge before I mean the only funerals I've been to were for a uncle and a grandfather. I was a pre-teen then so probably the planning details didn't get shared with me. Its quite the different experience being this close to the planning. I am doing my very best to be strong and supportive of both of them in this difficult time. I know my father-in-law will be missed because he was an integral part of our little family.

Home-garde attempt 1.0 has failed. I have yet to go to the store to get more soil to replace the old stuff but I should really get on that and buying some lights to help my little plants grow. All my plants died due to excessive over-watering on my part. I'll have to do a better job at this next time.

So there's an in-depth update as to what's been happening in my life the past few weeks.

More to come when there is something to report.

Weight loss frustration

In the start of July I saw a nutritionist for the first time. I've done my very best to follow all of her advice. I've eaten home cooked foods more, eaten more vegetables and even forced myself to remember to eat at least 4 to 5 times a day a small meal or snack. Despite this change to my diet and the increase in calories the pounds/kilos are just not dropping.

Now let me explain before there are loads of comments about not needing to increase calories to lose weight. Due to my attempts at self dieting I had cut back eating so much that I was consuming on a regular basis less than 1000 calories. This puts the body into starvation mode and thus it starts to keep all calories excess or not and turns them into fat.

I see the nutritionist again next week and I plan to ask her about this new diet I've heard a lot about, this fasting 2 days a week and eating whatever you want to on the other days. Fast days mean eating 500 calories a day for women and 600 calories for men. Jani is even considering doing this diet with me. It might be difficult but it seems to be effective from all the information I've read/watched on it.

I did have the idea to increase my caffeine intake, this has helped my energy levels and I really hope its boosting my metabolism but I'm not sure. Anyway its helping me to feel more and more like my old self, the less couch potato self I was two years ago.  I'm pretty sure I'm going to be subjected to a battery of tests because the nutritionist mentioned that if this eating 5 times a day trial didn't show any results then they were going to look for a hormonal reason for the constant increase in my weight.

I guess all I can do now is wait and hope for better results.

Translational issues

Going to the dentist sucks for me in general. Slowly though I'm getting over my intense fears. However, today proved that I'm still having communication issues with the people in the dentist offices here.

Some background information, last winter I had 5 front teeth removed due to decay issues. I now have a beautiful partial denture giving me the lovely smile I've always dreamed of. I got this partial in January this year after lots of dental work to repair the rest of my teeth and get the denture made.

In June of this year I began to feel that the denture didn't quite fit any more. It comes out if I bite anything too soft, or eat anything remotely sticky with a sauce or topping on it. So I went to the dentist office and tried to get the receptionist (who speaks no English) to reserve a time for me with my regular dentist to fix this problem. She apparently didn't understand my problem and gave me a time with a new dentist in a different office. I accepted the time and of course attended that appointment.

That appointment was today. I went in and this dentist, unlike my regular one, doesn't speak any English either. Now my Finnish isn't terrible, of course its not fluent either, but I don't always have the words to explain things especially medical/dental things. But the short story is that the receptionist should have given me two times for this new dentist to be able to fix anything about my denture because she would need time to make a new relief of the inside of my mouth and send it off to the lab to get a new prosthetic made. Then I'd have to come back the next day or the day after to get it fit properly etc. Getting a new prosthetic is a process and I realize this. But the entire situation sucked because this new dentist didn't have any times free until December. So she couldn't do anything for me today.

Now I'm stuck waiting with teeth that come out and make eating almost anything in public more than a bit embarrassing. The new dentist is sending a message to the regular dentist and I'm supposed to wait until I get a call or a note in the mail with new times for the regular dentist or a slip sending me straight to the lab to fix this problem. So for now I'm stuck with teeth that don't quite fit right and the endless waiting game that is the dentist offices here.

*sigh*

Mel

Idea overload

It seems that recently I have this immense overload of ideas flying through my head. I can't always keep track of them all but I really want to follow through on all of them. They always seem like fabulous ideas when they first pop into my head. Here's a list of just a few that have occurred in the past few days. 

Ideas: 

1. start growing my own lettuce inside and possibly other veggies like carrots and potatoes. Also to start tomatoes and cucumbers at least in the spring so that Jani and I can start eating healthier and hopefully lose some weight. 

Reasoning: I've read a lot about starting an indoor garden online in the past few days. Lettuce sounds like the most simple plant to start with, leafy varieties like arugula are easy to grow and are supposed to taste better than store bought lettuce. Also with the price of veggies being what they are its a huge money saver to grow my own veggies.

2. Start a home based business. A store on Etsy.com where I can sell crochet hats and scarves and perhaps some other things like snoods and blankets. Potentially a wider base of objects and potentially branching out into selling knit items as well.

Reasoning: I have been having a difficult time finding work here. I've sent out many job applications and done ten months of language courses. So in my spare time I've been crocheting a lot and since loads of people buy things on Etsy and everyone who has received crochet items from me as gifts has really thought they were swell. So I'm hoping that if I try to sell them that it will provide at least a source of some income until I can get a job or perhaps grow into a reliable home based business.

3. Crochet items: I had this really great idea to crochet a round hammock that we could somehow suspend from the roof of the ceiling of our patio. Also I want to make gloves and a hat for Jani to match his scarf that I made him last winter. I think these items will make good samples to post on Etsy if they turn out well. Plus I really enjoy making things for him.

4. Cooking ideas: I have all these recipes I want to try but somehow I just never get around to them. I hope to do more home cooking in the winter months. Hopefully I'll actually get around to making them and posting pictures of them here in this blog.

5. This blog: It was a random idea a way to document my life and a way to connect with people who I don't have daily contact with. Its turning into one of the best things in my life, its a great form of therapy. Getting all my thoughts down on paper and having other people read them. That is if there are any readers.  But even if there aren't I will keep writing this blog and getting my thoughts and emotions down in type.

I hope to keep you readers updated with the progress made with all these ideas. 

Answers to Steph's questions

So in the spirit of answering all of my comments I'm making a post to try to answer all of Steph's questions to the best of my ability.So here goes.

What is a typical weekday entail?

For my husband a typical weekday entails waking up and going to work from 9 to 5. Its my observation that this is the typical for most Finnish people who are working. Although it might be more common to work from 8 to 4. One thing is for sure that during the week most grocery stores, department stores or cafes are not open past 21.00/9pm. So this means of course that most Finns don't work at all past 21.00. There are no 24 hour businesses in our small town and there are only a few 24 hour businesses in the bigger cities of Finland that I've visited.

 After that we usually 2 times a week go to the grocery store and get basic supplies. This has to be done much more frequently than people would usually do in the USA because of the reduced size of fridges in Finland, and also because bread and milk only last a fraction of the time that those same goods last in the States. Then its home and dinner usually cooked at home. There is far more home cooking in Finland than I ever observed in USA. Perhaps that's heavily colored by my own bias and experiences. 


Weekends? 

Weekends for my household are generally spent at home spending time on our hobbies or watching tv together. Often we read a lot of books, or just go out for a drive to nowhere. At least once on the weekend there is sauna for all Finns. It is likely that many Finns also go to sauna at some point during the week as well as it is a huge part of Finnish culture.

Most young people or people of my age are not married and don't have kids so they spend lots of times going to the clubs and drinking on the weekends. This however varies by season, in the summer more people go to their summer cabins and cottages for the weekends and of course for the whole month that they have off from work. This means that they have a traditional wood fire sauna instead of the electric sauna that most people have access to in their homes.

What do most people do for entertainment? 

Movies are probably the most common thing for entertainment outside of the bar scene. Finns are generally quite heavy drinkers and drinking is a large part of the culture especially among younger people. However, in our town of Salo, we have the most used library in  the country. So we like many others in our town we visit the library and take full advantage of it. Barbecues and having friends over are also quite common as a way to entertain.

How different is it in a large city compared to a small town? 

I don't really have any experience living in a large city, I mean as large as cities get here, you have to consider that there are only 5 million people in all of Finland, that's less people than live Philadelphia for example. But in Helsinki, the capitol, where we've visited many times the main things that I've noticed is the cost of things is much higher and traffic is far worse. At the same time there is a much larger public transportation network in the bigger cities. 

The small town we live in is very much ideal for us because there are bike paths and bus lines that can get you pretty much anywhere in the main part of town that you would need to go. But really for most people in our town a car is still needed due to the fact that many smaller outlying towns have been incorporated into our municipality in the past decades so actually Salo spreads across a great land area with long stretches of road through the country between the populated areas.


I'm really sorry that I didn't address Sweden at all but as I haven't actually stepped foot in Sweden I don't have any real experience as to what life is like there. I hope this post has answered some of your questions and please feel free to ask more. This was a great bunch of questions that I really enjoyed answering.

The Purpose of Starting this Blog

The idea for this blog started from a feeling of loneliness and disconnection from friends and people in general. After my friends from England visited in July it hit me just how isolated I am here in Finland. There is no fault to be put on anyone. I do see my loving husband everyday and I see my in-laws once a week or so. But due to lacking language skills on my part and fear of speaking English on the part of others there is a real lack of any true friendship feeling here for me in Salo. I have some very dear friends who do willingly speak English and who are willing to put up with my not so polished Finnish skills they just do not live in Salo. So as an attempt to reconnect with those friends of mine from the United States who I communicated with on a regular basis before I moved to Finland I decided to start this blog. It also has the combined purpose of giving me a place to vent my feelings and experiences and tell about what is all going on with me. Not just for old friends but also for new friends I've made through the internet and Facebook in the time since I moved to Finland.

It is my hope that this blog will give my friends, family, and other concerned parties a window into what is going on in my silly, complicated, loving, amazingly awesome life here in Finland. I also hope that it gives me a better sense of community and friendship and a chance to reconnect with the people who are important to me.

Feel free to comment and ask questions. But please try not to judge too harshly.

Mel